


A Collection of Europan Folk Music

by themysteriousinternetentity



Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Folk Music, Song Lyrics, Worldbuilding, the violence tag is because folk songs are like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-06-18 20:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15494553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themysteriousinternetentity/pseuds/themysteriousinternetentity
Summary: The TPU Ethnomusicology Department is proud to present this compiliation of Europan folk songs from throughout the years.





	1. Sturmhalten Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit:  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Genius and make no claims of such. I write fic for fun and to show my love for the comic. I make no money off of this and do not want to. My works are not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment.

The traditional folk song "Sturmhalten Fair" is an excellent example of how a predominance of Sparks in an area can affect the local culture. This song presents, to an eternally catchy tune, the rather dangerous flirtation between two Sparks. Although some of its language is considered problematic today (ie, the use of "it" to apply to an unnamed construct), it is still very popular in the area around Sturmhalten and the song's popularity has recently skyrocketed. An especially fascinating point is that what would for anyone else be considered a dismissal of romantic possibility is taken by both Sparks as a challenge.

 

Are you going to Sturmhalten Fair?  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Remember me to one who lives there  
She was once a true love of mine

Tell her to make me a four-armed construct  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Without a seam or needlework  
And she shall be a true love of mine

Tell her to form it in a town  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Which ne’er by Jaegers has been torn down  
And she shall be a true love of mine

Tell her to give it a good sense of smell  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
But a nose so human that no one can tell  
And she shall be a true love of mine

Now he has gave his challenges three  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
I hope he’ll rise to as many for me  
And he shall be a true love of mine

Tell him to build me a meter-tall clank  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
With no battery nor a water-filled tank  
And he shall be a true love of mine

Tell him to build it without a screw  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
And no nuts nor bolts to fasten it too  
And he shall be a true love of mine

Tell him to build it with no death ray or blaster  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
And able to defeat him- fast as me if not faster  
And he shall be a true love of mine

When he has brought his clank before me  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
I’ll bring my construct and then he shall see  
And he shall be a true love of mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you have any suggestions for other songs I could do! I've got a couple done but I love doing this  
> Edit: Forgot to clarify for anyone who doesn't know, this is the song "Scarborough Fair." I'll try to clarify in the notes every chapter


	2. Two Minions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Two Minions" is a well-known but highly controversial folk song that discusses the perils of falling for a Spark's charisma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit:  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Genius and make no claims of such. I write fic for fun and to show my love for the comic. I make no money off of this and do not want to. My works are not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment.

Two Minions is an old song with many variations in both music and lyrics. What remains consistent throughout them all is the moral behind the story. What seems at first glance an entertaining if gruesome folk song is in fact a warning to all who hear it of the dangers of falling sway to a Spark's charisma. This song is, not surprisingly, unpopular among the minion and Spark populations, and has led to the occasional bar brawl. Most minions claim it shows an unrealistic end, and that even if such a situation occurred it was most certainly a one-off.  
  
What we have attempted to assemble here is one of the most popular variations. The verses remain fairly consistent in theme if not specific wording from place to place, but the chorus and tune go through many changes as one moves from one country to another, or even across a river. The one town with significant differences worth noting is Mechanicsburg. As with many variations in the area, the gift given by the Spark is a hat. However, instead of the eldest sister murdering the youngest over the gift and the Spark, she instead fights her for the hat and wins in what is apparently a traditional Jaegermonster ritual. The Spark is impressed by her prowess in battle and then rewards both of them as his minions (and, in some more ribald variations, his lovers). Mechanicsburg is the _only_ town with such a distinctly different ending, and many scholars have argued that it was composed as an intentional rebuttal to the more standardized variations. Regardless, only someone with a death wish would sing a different version anywhere near Mechanicsburg. What we have presented here is the normal version, but one of the Mechanicsburg variants can be found in Appendix A.

 

There was an old woman, lived by the Dyne shore  
Bow and balance me  
There was an old woman, lived by the Dyne shore  
A number of daughters: one, two, three, four  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he'll be loyal to me

There was a young Spark come there to see them  
Bow and balance me  
There was a young spark come there to see them  
and the oldest one got stuck on him  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he'll be loyal to me

He bought the youngest a fine lab coat  
Bow and balance me  
He bought the youngest a fine lab coat  
and the oldest one said her she’d show  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he'll be loyal to me

Oh, sister oh, sister let's walk the Dyne shore  
Bow and balance me  
Oh, sister oh, sister let's walk the Dyne shore  
and see the ducks as they're swimming on  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

While these two sisters were walking the shore  
Bow and balance me  
While these two sisters were walking the shore  
the oldest pushed the youngest o'er  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

Oh, sister oh, sister please lend me your hand  
Bow and balance me  
Oh, sister oh, sister please lend me your hand  
and you’ll have the master and all of his labs  
And then I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

I'll never, I never will lend you my hand  
Bow and balance me  
I'll never, I never will lend you my hand  
but I'll have the master and all of his labs  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

Some time she sank and some time she swam  
Bow and balance me  
Some time she sank and some time she swam  
untill she came to the old mill dam  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

The miller, he got his fishing hook  
Bow and balance me  
The miller, he got his fishing hook  
and fished that maiden out of the brook  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

The miller he took her little clank  
Bow and balance me  
The miller he took her little clank  
and pushed that maiden in again  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

The miller was hung on the mountain head  
Bow and balance me  
The miller was hung on the mountain head  
The eldest sister was boiled in lead  
And I'll be loyal to him  
if he’ll be loyal to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to jamjar for the song suggestion! I've had different versions of this song stuck in my head all week and I'm blaming you -_- Seriously though, I'd never heard it before and I appreciate it.  
> I'm still taking suggestions for other songs if y'all have favorites you want to comment!  
> Song this was based on: "Two Sisters."


	3. What Shall We Do with a Drunken Airman?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This traditional airship shanty is, like many others airmen's tunes, an adaptation of a common sea shanty. As airships first took to the sky, they tended to attract the same people who had formerly sailed the oceans- those seeking good pay and an escape (from their debts, from their lovers, from their families, or just from the solid land). Many traditions are shared between the sailors of the sea and the sky, and many individuals will switch the type of ship they work with nary a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Genius and make no claims of such. I write fic for fun and to show my love for the comic. I make no money off of this and do not want to. My works are not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment.

This traditional airship shanty is, like many others airmen's tunes, an adaptation of a common sea shanty. As airships first took to the sky, they tended to attract the same people who had formerly sailed the oceans- those seeking good pay and an escape (from their debts, from their lovers, from their families, or just from the solid land). Many traditions are shared between the sailors of the sea and the sky, and many individuals will switch the type of ship they work with nary a second thought.

Once again, this song is in essence an average of the many variations that can be heard across the skies of Europa. Unlike "Two Minions," however, this is less due to regional variations, and more due to the fact that "What Shall We Do with a Drunken Airman" is a call and response song with improvised verses. Some verses are particularly popular and tend to show up regularly, but the order will vary wildly, and new ones are often interspersed- sometimes dependent on inside jokes, and often losing clarity the deeper into their cups the singers get, much to the chagrin of the authors of this text.

The initiation of "what shall we do" is always sung by the whole group, who also will chime in each time the chorus starts off with "weigh-hey." Then, one individual will speak up and start the verse, singing the first line alone. The moment the group has gathered the singer's intent they will join in loudly, and the song continues as the group sings. Eventually they may all finish off with the final verse, although that is sometimes neglected.

Without further ado, we present what we were able to collect of the song.

 

 

What shall we do with a drunken airman?

What shall we do with a drunken airman?

What shall we do with a drunken airman?

Early in the morning?

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

                                                      

Have him shovel coal til we’ve broke cloud cover

Have him shovel coal til we’ve broke cloud cover

Have him shovel coal til we’ve broke cloud cover

Early in the morning

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Send him mimmoth hunting with a cup and saucer

Send him mimmoth hunting with a cup and saucer

Send him mimmoth hunting with a cup and saucer

Early in the morning

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Stick him in a madboy’s lab til sunrise

Stick him in a madboy’s lab til sunrise

Stick him in a madboy’s lab til sunrise

Early in the morning

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Shove him off the side to float back to a new bar

Shove him off the side to float back to a new bar

Shove him off the side to float back to a new bar

Early in the morning

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Stick him in the bed with the madboy’s daughter

Stick him in the bed with the madboy’s daughter

Stick him in the bed with the madboy’s daughter

Early in the morning!

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Stick him in the galley with a hungry jaeger

Stick him in the galley with a hungry jaeger

Stick him in the galley with a hungry jaeger

Early in the morning!

 

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Weigh-hey, and up she rises

Early in the morning!

 

Shave his beard with a rusty scalpel

Shave his beard with a rusty scalpel

Shave his beard with a rusty scalpel

Early in the morning!

 

That’s what you do with a drunken airman

That’s what you do with a drunken airman

That’s what you do with a drunken airman

Early in the morning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was suggested by Samarkand12, thank you so much! Inspired, of course, by "What do you do with a drunken sailor?" Also loads of thanks to Doc for the jaeger verse!
> 
> i am aware that it's been nine months. i don't know when i'll update again either but hopefully...sooner than that


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